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The closer I get, the calmer I am


The "before" pic. 
This may change tomorrow, but today, I'm calm.

I spoke with the scheduling nurse, Marybeth. She had a gruff voice, but was very sweet. We went through some questions, and after them she told me, "You're easy." I said, "I'm the healthy one." At the end of the call I said, "Well, here we go, right Marybeth?" She sort of laughed but I think sounded sad when she said, "Yes, here you go."

Details. No food after midnight Sunday, I can have clear liquids until 6 am Monday. Thanks be to God that means I can have black coffee from the time I get up until 6 am! I usually get up around 4:30 so I could down several cups! Then, nothing after that. The surgery is at 2:30 Monday the 22nd. I show up at 12:30 and then there's all the busyness leading up to surgery. It will take 2 1/2 - 3 hours, then 2 hours in recovery. Bob will have a lot of time to kill.

Other stuff today. I talked to Cancer Services. Lined it up for Bob to go get a shower chair (We JUST donated the one we had thinking, "we'll never need THAT thing again! Dang.), a camisole with pockets for drain tubes and "whatnot." And a bag with some stuff for cancer people (I think she said it included a tent-like top, that might come in handy).

Getting into the nitty gritty of what's coming is walking me closer to the reality that this is going to happen. I hate (love?) the phrase "It is what it is." I think I even used that phrase today. But it really is. I can't just opt out of this, I can't just change my mind, and unfortunately there is no time travel (yet). So I can be a wreck or I can just make plans. Confession tomorrow.

SIDEBAR: I want you to know that I spared you from an extremely dark, freaky post I started to write about my random thoughts. It would have scared people (think Howard Hughes and Buzzfeed had a really scary baby). You're welcome.

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