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For the sake of the joy

Sometimes a verse just hits me between the eyes. Today it was the second reading, Hebrews 12: 1-4.

First this:

"For the sake of the joy that lay before him he endured the cross..."

And in the one-two punch, this part:

"he endured such opposition from sinners, in order that you may not grow weary and lose heart."

Weariness is coming with the territory the past few weeks. And losing heart seems pretty possible. I felt close to losing heart after a little scene that happened at the restaurant this morning after Mass. (We call it "second church" because nearly all the 7:30 am Mass attenders go to Nick's afterward.) A fellow parishioner came over to chat, and let me know she was praying for me. When we were going into a few details, I mentioned one thing the doctor said, and got the "yikes" look. Twice. And the concerned nod. After she went back to her table, Bob and I sat in stunned silence.

But I re-educated myself about that particular detail, and realized that perhaps the "yikes" woman misheard what I said, or was mixing up that detail with something else. No permanent harm, but at that moment I realized how easy it's going to be to lose heart and grow weary.

Tomorrow is the PET scan. I had a funny little chat with the person who called to tell me how to prepare for the test. Low carb dinner -- easy for me since that's the way I eat anyway. Only water after midnight and no coffee in the morning. I groaned, he laughed. He said that was the one that most people found most difficult. "You're not going to like me," I told him. He laughed again. I asked him to warn me about anything that I would experience that I would need to be braced for. Nothing. He said it should be pretty easy. "Easy-ish" I thought.

So today I'm asking myself: What am I wiling to endure for the joy that lies ahead?