It's finally here. This is really happening. Today I get a mastectomy.
I have started this post a dozen times. I thought I'd talk about what I did yesterday, what I've been doing this morning, and what I expect to be doing until time to be at the hospital. All that would be just to fill up a post. It doesn't amount to much in terms of how I'm dealing with it emotionally. It's all just busyness and pretty boring.
Instead I will share my Examen from this morning. It was about gratitude. Talking to God about what I'm grateful for. Words can not express my gratitude for my husband. He's a rock, my love, my friend, someone who really gets me. Then, for "everything else." Every person who will read this, I'm thankful for you. For my little dog. For my new home. For my friends. For my knack with decorating (God created creativity, after all). For my ability to write something that anyone would want to read. For my sisters-in-law that are really more like sisters to me. For coloring books. For Dr. D and Dr. N. For my mother-in-law, my mom, really, who is my number one fan. For my job and all my co-workers. For the cars we drive. For our parish priest. For the black coffee I got to drink this morning. For all the pretty rotten things that have happened to me in my life that have shaped who I am.
For the fog outside that is setting the tone for the day. It will burn off and be beautiful later on.
I'm not sure yet when I'll be able to post again. I come home tomorrow evening, and I'm expecting to just need to sleep. But I'll be praying for all of you as I have been. Please do me a favor and leave a comment here with your prayer intentions. When I wake up I'd love to be able to pray for you more specifically!
In the meantime, this:
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and God of all encouragement, who encourages us in our every affliction, so that we may be able to encourage those who are in any affliction with the encouragement with which we ourselves are encouraged by God." -- 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4