Skip to main content

So there it is.

Was, I mean.

There it was on the screen, and the sweet tech, Hanna (love that it was a Biblical name), had a worried look. I stared at her while she was doing her job: breast ultrasound of my right breast. When I couldn't take it any longer, I asked, "It's pretty bad isn't it?" She nodded. She said something about vascular activity, and "We don't like to see that." I asked what that meant. "It's being fed." Hanna flipped the screen toward me. I said, "Those red and blue dots?" She nodded. She said more things but I was not really listening any more. I was pretty calm, and patting myself on the back for not screaming and overturning medical thingamabobs and running down the hall in the crappy, threadbare gown. Shouldn't I be doing that?

She finally finished up, and said I could take a seat over there while she sent the scans to the BDC (Breast Diagnostic Center) for a radiologist to read. She said this could be a while, maybe 20 minutes. I sat, and went back to my current Kindle book, Theology and Sanity. Oh, I mentioned the book to Hanna (I think I was thinking this is my chance to evangelize), and she asked if it was Biblical theology. I wasn't sure what she meant, but was pretty sure she was trying to evangelize me. I think I muttered, something like "Oh, yeah, of course. It's a really good book." So much for my chance.

She came back in a lot faster than she had said. She said she had a doctor on the phone and would I talk to him. Yep. Here we go. Doctor said biopsy is needed, and repeated Hanna's, "We don't like to see that."

This was 19 days after I found the lump. Nineteen. That used to sound like just "a couple weeks." Now it sounds like forever. Today is day 34.




Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

This Year I'll Try Harder (To Stop Trying so Hard): A Reflection on my Prayer for 2025

On any given morning, it is my habit to go for about a 10-minute pre-dawn walk outside, starting my day in prayer or at least in gratitude for having woken up. It is usually “rain or dark,” but there are times, like yesterday morning, when it’s coming down in sheets, and I just don’t do it. But since I think it helps me physically and spiritually to move my body and pray before I really start my day, I have an alternate routine that involves my rosary and a mini-trampoline. So that was my choice on December 31, the last day of 2024. When I got to the intentions of my rosary, I mentally went through the list of things I’ve been praying for off and on for a few months now, but stopped short and thought, since this is the last day of 2024, maybe I should consider something new for 2025. And what came to me was to pray for an increase in the Fruits of the Holy Spirit. I have asked God to help me increase in these virtues off and on in ‘24, and it was fruitful (rimshot). But life happens an...
Post a Comment
Read more

May I Have a Word: The Case for Saying What We Mean

By a show of hands, how many times have you used these phrases, in conversation, on social media, in email communications, or in chocolate syrup on a pancake? Don’t Judge Right? You Need To Friends, my hand is way up there. Don’t judge me for pointing this out. These are common phrases, and we’ve all used them, right? You need to read on to see why these words have become a problem. Now that I have gotten that out of my system, let me say that I am working hard to eliminate all these very common and seemingly well-meaning words and phrases from my vocabulary. I’m not usually one to wave the banner and try and get people to join me, but this time I think I am. Lately, it feels like we have become very lazy in how we express ourselves. It’s like the shortcut version of actual communication. Verbal texting. But, there is more about these five phrases that has been sticking in my craw. I’ve been binge-watching movie adaptations of Shakespeare's plays. His words demand attention—every l...
Post a Comment
Read more

Mood Swings, Moisturizer, and Minute Rice: I'm Trying Stuff in January

Most Januarys I spend a little time thinking about how I do things, what products I use, and what I might want to change. It’s not exactly about making “resolutions” because I know some of these changes will stick and some won’t—and that’s okay. I think it’s more a matter of long, cold, dark winter days giving my mind too much time to wander. In the grayest corners of my brain, ideas come and go, and I start experimenting with little things that catch my interest. Most of these experiments are so mundane I don’t even mention them to Bob anymore. I’ve seen that glazed-over look enough to know better. But once in a while, I think maybe some of these things are worth sharing—or at least good for a laugh. So here’s a non-recurring, possibly non-useful list of things I’m trying this year. Mood and Energy Tracker I’ve been thinking about health and wellness lately—hardly surprising in January with all the “New Year New You” messaging out there. It’s like annual mind control. This year I dec...
Post a Comment
Read more