Still Polly

"Okay Google," I said to my phone. "Can you wear a bra when you have a tissue expander?" Yes, I seriously asked my phone that question. Before it could answer me Bob walked into the room so I pushed the off button -- hard. I'm in that place again. The place "in between" that makes me do stupid things like search "tissue expander" online. Shudder. (Those of you with weaker stomachs, don't try it. There's stuff out there that I can't unsee.) When I was first diagnosed with cancer but knew nothing about anything I found myself online searching. Waiting was too hard, and I was impatient. And after all, there's this thing called "the internet" the source of all wisdom. So I would search and end up going down rabbit holes on medical sites reading medical journal articles that may as well have been written in a foreign language. Nonetheless, I'd pick up some words here and there, understanding  just  enough to fre...

"Yay! I'll get to have a drain again!" The nurse chuckled. Yes, I was being slightly sarcastic, but only slightly, because this time we're talking about my reconstruction surgery. So it's -- exciting? Strange, but yeah. I had two drain tubes when I had my mastectomy. So I know what that feels like, what that looks like, how to "somewhat" hide them, how to empty them, and what really matters -- volume, simply volume. I still laugh thinking about how I learned that bit the hard way. Remember?  This time I'll only have one. (By the way, I fight Howard-Hughes-ish urges to ask to keep these types of things as morbid cancer-survivor souvenirs. More reasons to pray for me.) "Which saint is that?" Dr. S asked me. He had just walked into the room with his nurse and a third year med student and he noticed I was holding a saint card. I told him it was St. Anthony, my patron. It happened to be the feast day of St. John Vianney, and we talked ab...