Still Polly

"We're toe twins," Bob said. Bob's got a big toenail that is... unusual. It's very thick and last I checked pretty gross. The toenail on my right big toe is now super thick and weirdly white, and I was telling him about it. "Yeah, I guess that makes us toe twins." This was before I looked closer and discovered that it's pulling away, and is, pardon me for being graphic, leaking pus. (In other news, the big toenail on my left foot now has a stunning tortoise-shell color.) Dr. M told me to soak my feet in Epsom salt water. "And if it falls off?" I asked him. "Just wrap it up," he told me. And here's a bit of trivia for you: it can take a year and a half for a big toenail to grow back. So no pedicures for me. Chemo problems. Still happening. I've been saying how radiation treatment is much more physical than chemo was. I've got a precise outline of the treatment area, filled in with what looks like a nasty sun...

BEAM ON I had to pick something over my left shoulder to look at. This is to keep my throat out of the line of fire during radiation. There's a sign mounted high up on the wall to the left in the radiation treatment room, white with big black block letters. BEAM ON lights up when the stuff is happening. BEAM ON. It makes me want to laugh. It's so "straight at it," right? The BEAM is ON when it lights up. the BEAM is off when it's off. Sometimes BEAM ON stays on for several seconds (about the length of a Hail Mary). Sometimes it's on for just a second. Now that I love BEAM ON I almost get irritated when this big, huge, rotating piece of equipment blocks my view of it. Most of the time, it's just me and BEAM ON, alone in the room. I think BEAM ON is my Wilson . Monday I didn't think BEAM ON was cute at all. I know, I said I was hoping to find things about this part of my treatment that would bring me closer to God, but Monday that feeling was jus...